Oh I did it!! I started my own blog. Wow I really hope that I can keep up to date with this and write about my experience as to becoming a surrogate. I am not much of a writer, but hey I will just log my crazy thoughts and hope you enjoy.
I remember when I was in my early 20's being at my girlfriends house and her telling me about her sister having another miscarriage. She felt so bad that she was able to conceive and have a child and yet her sister could not seem to stay pregnant. We talked about how easy it was for us and how much we wish we could lend our uterus to others so their dreams of motherhood could come true. (Since then her sister, after many miscarriages and an early term loss finally did have her own child ~ Hooray!)
Now that I am in my late 30's (geeze did I just say that out loud?) I have decided this train of baby making/ carrying is getting ready to head out and I better catch it while I can. I have come across several women who have had multiple losses and are still trying to this day to have the child they have been dreaming about. Every time I hear them announce they are pregnant, I do the happy dance. Tears well up in my eyes, my heart beats a little faster for them and I am sure a certain glow appears in my eyes. I get so excited I even try to guess their due date before they tell and dream about their son or daughter they may have. Each one of them will make great parents in their own ways.
So, when I hear one of these women share about something not going right, their hcg levels not being where they should, spotting early on or an ultrasound appointment that did not have good results, my heart stinks with them. My eyes well up with tears and I say a prayers for them. It seems so un fair. Why is it so easy for me and not for them? I am not more special then they are. I just don't understand. I want to put my arms around them and tell them it will be ok. That God has a plan, a good one I am sure and just hold them and be a shoulder for them to cry on. An ear for them to vent to or even yell towards. The range of emotions one goes through is a roller coaster ride that is fun for no one.
So, after a discussion on a forum I decided to look in to surrogacy. I honestly thought I was too old. Ha! But have come to find out, I actually am not! Not yet anyways. Being that I am in my late 30's..... ok, I'm 37. 38 this coming February. I only have until I am 40 to get preggo with some one's eggo. I found a local agency and gave them a call. I filled out all important paperwork and sent over my medical info. Now I have to wait until I am done breastfeeding my sweet precious daughter who is 7 months. My supply seems to be slowly dwindling away as it usually does at this point. I have been able to breastfeed my baby's to 9 months at the longest. So that puts me about Christmas time. For now I am going to enjoy my family and the holidays and know that I will get things rolling beginning of 2014!
What a year that will be!
