It's getting real

So what has happened since my trip to SD and back?  A LOT! 

Well, got my contracts, reviewed them and had to get them finalized.  Note to self (and you if you want to be a surrogate) Make sure you have your bases covered. Or as they say in Big Brother ~ Expect the Unexpected!! Expect you will be pregnant with twins and will have to go on bed rest.  What will that mean for you? Child care cost, lost of wages cost, house cleaning cost, if your significant other has to take time of work cost. Yes make sure you have ALL of that covered!!  Do not sign if you don't.  If you don't think you will be able to make things work and this becomes a financial strain on you then it will cause problems.  That is not something you want when you are trying to do something to help another family.  If you don't want to have to worry about this, then only sign up to transfer a SET (Single Embryo Transfer). Just ONE baby. Although things could still happen, then chances of it go WAY down!!  Some things were not very clear to me.  The agency gave me a benefit sheet to sign that gave me the breakdown of cost but it wasn't my contract.  So I figured this was the basic information and anything extra could be discussed.  Well I was wrong.  This was put in the contract and not up for discussion.  Now that may seem crappy, but I will say that things change for me (the IPs) and went quickly so I am not sure if this would have been discussed more otherwise. I didn't sign the contract right away.  I contacted other surrogates and asked a lot of questions.  One even allowed me to review her contract so I could see how comfortable or not I was with what I had in front of me.  After looking it all over I was relieved.  Some parts of my contract were more flexible then hers.  My compensation would be enough to cover cost should something come up (well according to my calculations) So I moved forward and signed my life away. 

 

 

After that was done I got the thumbs up to start Meds. I was already taking birth control ~ this is to help sync my cycle up with the donor ~ and baby aspirin ~ this is to help the flow of blood to the uterus where the embryo will need to implant.  I need to be nice and "fluffy" in order for the embie to get comfy, settle in and grow! I started with Lupron.  This is a daily injection I give to myself in my stomach. It's actually not bad, doesn't hurt and is easy to do. The only side effect I am having from it is headaches.  I didn't have any for the fist couple of weeks but got my first one this past Thursday and it turned in to a migraine!! Ever since I get one daily and they are annoying. I do to the IVF clinic tomorrow to get my blood checked and ultrasound and if all is well I will start Delestrogen.  This is an injection that I will give myself in my booty.  So tonight I decided to watch a video on it.... 

 

 Yep.... That's how I feel. My mouth dropped open, my eyes popped out, my stomach turned over and over.... I'm not prepared for this injection I have to start giving myself.  I am nervous as heck to do it but I will.  I hear the anticipation for it is harder than actually doing it.  I also have heard there is a trick to doing it so that it is easier on my.  First I need to Ice the area for the injection, heat up the medicine so it goes in easy, rub it in and then put a heating pad on it after .  These are the tricks to make it not hurt so much. I was going to show you a picture of needles but after looking at a few I decided this was best:

 

 

This is a happy place I want to be thinking about instead of those long 1 1/2" Needles.  Well ~ time for bed.  I have a big day tomorrow. 

 





It's a DATE!!

Yesterday I had my medical screening. This was the next "Big" appointment I have been waiting for.  This is the appointment where the take you blood and urine samples, from both Surro and her Significant other.  They do a hysteroscopy to look at my uterus and make sure it looks good to carry a baby.  I was so excited for this day and made sure that I was prepared to go. We drove 2 hours to the Medical Office, which seems like a LONG time, but actually it was a beautiful day out.  The weather was perfect, sunny, in the upper 70's to  low 80's with a nice breeze.  There was a long stretch of road where we could see the ocean and the beach.  It was really peaceful.  Anyhow we got there and filled out all the paperwork, did the blood draw, urine samples and met with the Doctor.  He is super great.  Direct, to the point, funny and calm. He didn't tell me anything I didn't already know, which made me feel good that I have done my homework.  He asked if I had meet the intended parents and I told him that I only spoke with the Mother.  He told me they are absolutely lovely and I will really like them.  They have been waiting a long time for this and he is happy I am ready to go. The Hysteroscopy was like getting a pap smear, very simple and fast.  He said that I look great!!  No problems and my uterus is ready to bake a cupcake or two!!!  Wooooo Hooooo.  I am very happy, excited and ready to go.  I got to pick up my "Party Bag" to get started.  It was filled with birth control to help sync my cycle with the donor, prenatal pills to start taking and baby aspirin to help with blood flow.  I will start all of these on Sunday June 1st.  Then on June 18th I will start with my first round of shots.  June 20th I will stop my birth control pills.  June 30th I will start another shot (it's hard to read his writing so I can't tell the name) Then have a couple of lining checks on July 7th and July 14th, Transfer will be around July 20th!!  I am so thrilled to be doing this and to finally have a DATE!!!  I was hoping for July because being pregnant in the winter time is the best.  I am my own heater and there is all kinds of yummy food to enjoy.  I am so excited to think that this couple is going to have a baby in a year to hug, hold, snuggle, kiss, love, smell, watch and enjoy.

Afterwards we went out to eat and then drove home after traffic.  The sky looked amazing with a beautiful sunset.

and a few more miles down we saw some hot air balloons. 

It really was a perfect day.  I just know that this is going to work the first try and be an amazing experience to give to someone else.  I can't wait to help this family GROW!!!

Change in my pouch

I have been so busy this past month.  I had a final to finish and evaluations to complete but now they are all done!! Wooo Hoooo!!!

This month has brought a lot of change.  So last time I wrote that I was waiting for the doctor to look at my records and give me a thumbs up.  Well he did!!!  I knew that would happen but was so excited when I got the news on May 1st.  On May 5th I checked in with the agency to see how things were going.  She let me know that all was well and I would be getting my paperwork the next day.  She asked if I had a change to talk with my IM and I said I had not.  She told me it would be great to email her and check in.  I didn't have her email but knew I would get it the next day.  So on Tuesday May 6th I got all the paperwork and reviewed it late in the day.  I decided I would email my IM the next day to see how she was doing.  On Wednesday morning May 7th I got a call from my agency.  Apparently something had come up with my IM and she was going to postpone surrogacy until Sept or Oct.  My heart sank.  By that time it will have been over a year since I started to look in to this process and I really loved them.  I knew right away that I did not want to wait until then.  During one of our meetings I got the feeling the IM was not 100% on board.  I worried that she had some doubt going through her mind but brushed it off.  So glad that she decided to make changes at this point before getting to involved.  My agency said that the time is really interesting because they have another couple who's surrogate back out during meds. Which this is a HUGE shock.  Meds are not simple or easy.  This is a part of the process that I don't look forward too.  Sticking myself with a needle almost every day, gaining weight from those shots, being moody, bitchy, grumpy, having hot flashes, headaches and more...  So for someone to change their mind at that time means something big is happening to them.  So I was asked to look at their profile and see what I think.  Well they look like a sweet couple who is very open minded about everything and about their surros needs. I said I loved their profile and we had a phone meeting set up for the next day.  We spoke for about an hour.  She is a lovely women.  She is from Belgium so not close by, but that is ok.  We can keep in touch via email, phone and Skype. She has been trying for about 9 years to have her own child and has realized that for what ever reason, she is not able to stay pregnant once becoming pregnant and has decided to use donor eggs.  They already have the donor here local to me ready to go.   She asked me a lot of important questions about how I feel about doing this, why and if I would be ok with them being there at delivery.  I said that I had no problem with that but that I really don't want to be induced.  I have had two inductions that they are really hard on my body.  I would really love to go in to labor on my own.  She said she was fine with this and is just excited to meet someone to carry her child.

Since then I have had my psych screening and am on to medical.  I will get my medical screening this Thursday and find out how everything looks.  I will also find out how soon I will be transferring.  I am so excited!!

Hurry up and WAIT!

Well I got an update!  Hooray!  I am have been patiently waiting to hear back on what the next step is. It seems there have been a few hold ups, so I am getting the opportunity to practice patience.  My favorite! Ok not really, but it is good to learn how to slow down and enjoy the moments.
Like the one I am having right now.. Daisy is standing on the chair behind me, brushing my hair and playing with it...
And.... it's over, she has moved on and left my hair looking rather fashionable.  ha ha !  Seriously though it is hard to wait for something so exciting!

So what I found is it took almost two weeks for my medical records to make it from the Dr. office to the agency.  Then they sent them off to the RE and he went on vacation with out looking at them.  He will return from vacation next week to review and give me the thumbs up.  He might look at them while he is gone, but really he should enjoy his vacation! I mean I wouldn't want to be bothered by work while on vacation.  But maybe he is like me and passionate about things so enjoys checking up on work while relaxing.  Once I get the thumbs up then I have to wait till I am on CD14-16 (CD= Cycle Day) of my period to get checked.  The bummer is, I am on CD 14 TODAY!  So I will have to WAIT another month! BLAH!!  Wait, wait, wait... hurry up and wait!

Again, getting to practice patience.  Really, just having dates in mind is much better for me.  I don't like the unknown, so knowing puts me at peace.  Next month things will start to move forward and move faster.  I assumed we will have a July/Aug transfer, with a April/May baby.  Maybe as early as end of March, but I still think April/May.  Crazy to think next year at this time I will be ready to POP!

Seal of Approval

We got accepted!!!  They LOVE us and want to move forward!!  I am so excited.  It was hard to be patient and wait to hear the news but I am so excited, so happy, so ready to do this!!

Before hearing the news today, I woke up knowing I need to call the doctor to get my IUD removed.  I have the Paragard, non-hormonal, which is great because they don't need me to wait for body to get back on track, its already there.  Paragard has copper on it which apparently is like kryptonite to sperm, killing them off.  So it doesn't interfere with my natural ovulation.  Although it must have been doing something because my periods were whack! and horribly heavy...  Like a scary crime scene out of a movie horrible.  So happy to NOT have that again! (so I hope).  I called the doctors about 2 weeks ago to have it removed and was told that I needed to have it done when AF (aunt flow, aka menstrual cycle) was visiting. I was disappointed because she had just visited the week before and I realized that I was going to have to wait 3 more weeks to have this done.  I just worried how that could potentially put me behind schedule or interrupt the transfer. Ha ha! I don't even know when any of that will be but I don't want to be the reason for any delay!! Well AF decided to visit me late Thursday night.  Hooray!  I knew I would need to call the doctors to schedule an appointment.  The receptionist had told me when I called to have this done, I should be able to get in that day or the following.  I did call Friday after meeting with the IPs but they were closed for the weekend. Ok, no big deal, I will call Monday.   So today I called my doctor and guess what.... they were closed!!  What an odd day to be closed. Monday April 14th.  I wonder what special event is happening (religious, non religious, getting ready for taxes?) that has them closed on this Monday.  I then decided, ok no big deal - I will call another place to have it removed. They can't get me in for 2 weeks!! What is this nonsense?! What is so special about getting this done that they can't just squeeze me in?  I am sure this can't take more than 5 mins to remove. I decided to get on line and Google how it gets removed... smart! I get all kinds of blogs and post from different forums where women are talking about how they removed it themselves!  Sweet sassy molassy, this maybe the answer.  So I read a few of them and they all say the same thing: Lay down, find the strings and GENTLY pull them.  The IUD is flexible and shouldn't hurt to be removed. Well, let me think this through.  If something should happen, can I get to a hospital? Check. Would someone be able to come stay with the girls? Check. Plus I have birthed 4 babies and think my cervix is flexible. Ok, I decided to give it a whirl. Let my girlfriend know what I am up too and about 2 mins later I was free of my IUD!  Hooray me!!! Now, I am NOT, repeat NOT a doctor!  I do not, again DO NOT encourage anyone to do this.  This is a medical procedure that should be done by a doctor in case anything goes wrong and YES sometimes they do.  Some get stuck and have to be surgically removed!!  No joke. I have read about it happening.  So why did I do this?  Well some would say I'm a bad ass.  Some would say I am crazy.  And others would question my ability to make wise choices and think this was pretty stupid.  You can come to your own conclusion about me, I know I am just crazy.

So I was super excited when I got the email that we have been accepted, we have been chosen. Given the thumbs up, the seal of approval. I was going to get to carry her child and I am so excited for this!!

Meet the Parents!

Perfect.  Loving. Laid Back. Respectful. Caring.  Just a few words that come to mind when I think about these parents.  They have a wonderful love and admiration for each other.  They want what is best for there children.  They have one child already that the mother was able to carry on her own, but almost died at the end of her pregnancy/delivery (I honestly don't know the story) and so she can not have anymore of her own children.

What this means though is that she has already gone through her own pregnancy and been able to be in complete control of it. How much she rested, exercised, what she ate, what medications she consumed, what test she did or did not want done.  Along with not having extra ultrasounds other than the one at 20 wks.  There really is not enough information out there to determine what effects ultrasounds have on babies. We know that they do cause a stream of high-frequency sounds waves and baby's maybe feeling vibrations or heat. Most babies don't like them and will cover there faces almost trying to block out the ultrasound or hid from them.  So they discussed how once they became pregnant, they changed the way they took care of their bodies, knowing how it would affect their child.  She did have a lovely pregnancy and was hoping to find a surrogate with an open mind to eating well for their child, not taking routine medications at the first sign or a cold or headache but to find a more natural approach and be willing to try that first. I am completely open to trying this and may find something more natural for myself to use.  I already use a netipot when I have a cold instead of cold medicine and have found it to be extremely helpful.

Anyhow back to the meeting...  It took us a lot longer to get there then expected and so we ended up being late, which neither of us like... but they understood and were grateful we were willing to drive to them.  We met at a lovely Hotel and actually chatted in the Lobby area for our meeting.  They showed Bryan a picture of their child ~ adorable! And asked Bryan how he felt about it all.  He explained that he is 100% supportive of what I want to do and knows my passion for pregnancy and birth. After all, I am a Bradley Childbirth Educator and will be working to be a doula as my girls are older.  I LOVE all things birth!! The Father said he understood and lives the rule "Happy Wife = Happy Life".

 They talked about how they chose to stay healthy during their pregnancy and why.  She asked me questions about any complications I have during my pregnancies, sickness I experience or anything else.  I have very healthy pregnancies with only slight nausea in the beginning.  Yes I am blessed. After that the Father had to return to work (it was a Friday afternoon) but the Mother stayed and chatted with us for a bit longer.  We talked about what we will have to go through to get the process started. Medical screenings and what not, all the meds we have to take before IVF.  She wants to do a fresh cycle as opposed to a frozen cycle. She said she wasn't sure how many times I am willing to do this and I told her that when I signed up I was committed to trying it 3 times before having to re-evaluate.  But I don't think it will take 3 times to become pregnant.  I have a good feeling that it will happen on the first try!  I read another surrogates blog and she talks about being positive and how she has carried 4 times and every time it worked on the first try.  So I plan on doing the same.  After that she treated us to lunch.  At this hotel, there is a small restaurant on the rooftop and it was a lovely day out.  In the upper 70's with a slight breeze.  She wasn't able to stay with us for lunch which was a disappointment, but it gave Bryan and I an opportunity to eat in peace and quiet and enjoy each others company.  Usually we have out two little ones and so eating is never a dull moment.  It was a mini vacation!  I phoned her later that night and let her know how much we appreciated that.

I am excited to see what the next step will be.  I know Monday I will be calling the doctors to have my IUD removed so my body can get back on cycle and get ready to grow a baby!

Before the Meeting

I am so excited and nervous.  Tomorrow we meet the husband, the father of the child I will carry.  Wow that sounds weird to say, but that is what it is.  I am really excited, I am not even tired but know I should go get in bed.....  and I am sure once I do my little one will wake.  The couch may become my bed again.  Anyhow, tomorrow I need to get up, get the older one off to school, get some make up, do my hair, and figure out what I am going to wear.  I hope my girlfriend is ready for the photo bomb I will be sending her for dress approval.  Not an actual dress, although that would be nice, I plan on wearing pants. I always wear pants.  I need to get a few more girly.... womanly.... ugh, I don't like how either of those sound... but I need a few more dresses.  I am so excited and hope they like us and want to move forward.  I wonder if the conversation will be comfortable, awkward, quiet or... stop over thinking it!  It will go great!! Plus this week I bought my first container of Raw Milk and guess what? I like it!! and so does Daisy! I am excited to tell her that.
I am getting anxious again but I yawned, so that is a good sign.  Sleep is on it's way and I will need it for tomorrow. The weird thing about this, is I have no idea what I should or shouldn't say.  If there is a right or wrong or proper etiquette with this, but I am going to do my best to relax and go with the flow.  Be my charming self and leave the rest up to the universe to decide.  Good night.