It's all about the belly

Last week it was appointments, ultrasounds, needles and stress for these girls. This week it's all about taking care of them and their bedroom.

I had a doctor's appointment with my regular OB. He checked on the girls, both breech but good heartbeats. Measured my fundal height. Im 24 weeks but measuring 32! So 6 months measuring 8! Crazy. I will see him next month when I'm 28 weeks, then I will see him twice a week till the babies are here. I will get to know him well.

I also had a chiropractor appointment and got adjusted. I just want to go every week. It feels SO amazing! My left side is really tight so having her work on my left hip and my back was heaven. If you have never gone to a chiropractor during pregnancy, you should go. You will tank me and wonder why you waited so long.

The day after that, I went and got a massage! OMG! I took a bath in a jetted tub filled with amazing oils and bubbles. It was so relaxing. The water was a perfect temperature, candles were lit, music was playing and there were fruit snacks to enjoy. Heaven! After that I was escorted to the room for my massage. A full 50 mins but it went by so fast. It was so relaxing. I plan on going again next month!

Today I went to yoga. So peaceful and so good on my hips to stretch everything out.  I can't imagine not doing yoga while pregnant.

It's getting harder to get up with Penny after I rock get to sleep. Not sure yet what I will do in a few week's when it's really hard to get up! Have Bryan push me out of the rocker... ha ha ha.

Speaking of Penny sleeping... Time to lay her down.

Results are In

So surprised to get the call today. As soon as I saw the number calling me was restricted, I knew it was Ashley.  I was nervous to answer but did along with quickly getting to the closest thing to me to write this information down. I can get so nervous I forget what I am told and have to make sure I write down what I hear. Well, I am relieved to say that both girls are in perfect health! I knew that test was wrong! All this stress and pain this week to find out what we really already knew. The girls are PERFECT! So the final results will be in next week as these were preliminary, but they won't change.
Whew! I can breathe again! I can get back to normal life with no worries or concerns about the future except making it to the next mile stone. Which is hitting 24 weeks. This is when the girls are viable, should I deliver early, the hospital will do all it can to save them. I will be 24 week's on Tuesday. Omg, I'm just so happy. Tears of happiness overwhelm me. Life is so good and amazing right now. I'm emotionally exhausted and yet re-energized at the same time

From now on it will be boring pregnancy updates and belly pictures! I will talk about fun pregnancy feelings like heart burn and constipation. Food cravings or not. And then eventually the birth!

I think in the next couple of weeks I'm going to get a GOOD pregnancy massage. I deserve it.

The saga continues

Yesterday late afternoon I received a call from Ashley letting me know what was going on with the results. Apparently the courier that picked up the sample on Tuesday failed to deliver it to the lab that evening. They actually didn't even deliver it until two days later on Thursday, which was the day that I was to get the results! It's frustrating that this happened. The lab knows how important this is and is going to expedite getting the rapid results done. However they still need 24 to 48 hours to have the results complete. They do work on Saturdays, so as soon as they have the results then they will call Ashley and let her know. At this point I'm not holding my breath to get the results any sooner than Monday afternoon.

I let the IM know. She told me not to stress and is, confident that everything will work out great.

I do believe that all things happen the way they are supposed too and that nothing happens by mistake. So I get to just trust in the process for now.

Squeaky wheel

It's early in the afternoon and I had not heard back from the doctors office. So I decided that I would give them a call after they get back from lunch around 1:30pm. Spoke with the receptionist there and she said they have not received the results yet. They decided to contact the lab and find out when the results are going to be in and get back to me. When the receptionist called me back she informed me that the lab said my results will not be complete until tomorrow! I went from having a very peaceful morning to stressing out this afternoon. So I decided to call the genetic counselor I have been working with ( we will call her Ashley) and see if o could get some more information. She is so sweet, understanding and helpful. She understands the situation and I figured she might be able to get me more detailed information as to when three results will be in.
Unfortunately I wasn't able to reach her. The woman I did speak with said she would contact Ashley and also contact the lab understanding the time restraint I am under and try to get the information today. So now I'm just waiting again... Now full of anxiety.

I'm not one to be such a squeaky wheel. But this time it's needed.

It's one thing when its your own pregnancy and you can make all the decisions and choices for what you're going to do in the future. But it's completely different when you're carrying children for another couple. It almost feels like there's more pressure to make sure I get them adequate information on time. They have trusted me this far and I want them to continue to feel like their girls are in good hands. That I am doing all I can to get them answers. Hopefully I will hear an answer quickly.

Results Day

Today we should get the preliminary results from the amniocentesis. I woke up feeling the girls moving around thinking about hearing there results, and again feeling 100% that they are both healthy.

Bed rest was good. Had some jewellers come over to play with the girls and get them what they needed ands enjoyed adult conversation. Something I don't get most days with the girls.

My stomach is still sore and my ligaments have been really sensitive too. Even my back was hurting yesterday morning bad. It was crazy how much that procedure effected me this time.

I had it done once with my own daughter ands it was much easier that time. I also wasn't as far along or carrying twins, so I know that plays in to it all.

This day will mean we get to move on with out any further complications or well I'm not sure what that or is. It's the black abyss. The unknown.

Time will tell.

The Procedure

Today didn't start out like I planned. I woke up late and that seemed to set in motion the rest of the day going off track. I was glad that my mom showed up early to watch the girls and my friend, who is also a surrogate, was early as well. We talked the whole way down to the doctor's about everything. The amniocentesis, why the need for this, understanding the IPs point of view and how I was feeling. Once we got there we didn't have to wait to long to be called back to the room. The genetic counselor came in and explained that she had spoken with the IM in detail the day before and did explain the risk of preterm birth at this point in pregnancy is very high with this procedure. She also said that it would be completely up to the doctor if he could do the procedure our not. It really depended on the size of the babies.
When she was done the doctor came in and explained all the same. The look of concern on his face worried me. You could tell it wasn't in his ability to do the amniocentesis, but in the risk factors with this procedure. With twins you are  already high risk. Amniocentesis done at the 17 weeks will increase the risk of preterm labor. But to throw all of that together, including being further along, could cause the girls to come sooner and have a long stay in the NICU. Hearing those facts was very nerve wracking. After explaining all the details, he did an ultrasound to look at the girls, measure them and make sure he knows what area he would be putting the needle in. 
It's interesting, on Friday they were head down, but today they were both head up. They both looked great as per the usual.  Then it was time to collect the samples. Being that there are two babies and they need to make sure they collect from each sac, they have to find away to mark one of the babies. So first they collected a sample from Twin B. When the put the needle in it stung a bit. I felt some pressure when the sample was collected. After that they got the blue dye and added it in to the babies sac. The blue dye helps them so that when they collect from the other baby, Twin A, if the fluid they pull out is blue then they are in the wrong sac. When that one was done I was thinking about the next prick I would feel, but knew it wouldn't be that bad.
I was wrong.
When the doctor found the spot for Twin A and inserted the needle, my uterus contracted. It was extremely painful as well and I wanted to grab on to the nurses arm. The doctor decided to remove the needle and find another location on my belly. Of course the area that was good for him is my sensitive spot on my stomach. I did some deep breathing to help me relax. The doctor asked if I felt like I was going to faint, I told him no. When he was ready, he let me know he was going to put the needle in again. This time it wasn't as bad. It still hurt, but not as bad as last time. The doctor took out a small sample of fluid and it was clear! So this meant he was successful in getting Twin A's sample. As I watched him pull out the amniotic fluid I was relieved knowing it was all over. He then pulled out the needle and had me roll on to my left side for a few mins. He checked with me to see if I was having any cramping, but I wasn't.  He told me how amazing I did and to make sure I rest over the next 24 hours. Then light activity for the remainder of the week.
My friend was there the whole time and let me squeeze her hand through it all. I tried not to squeeze to tight and she said I never did. She took me to get an Oreo cookie shake after and drive me home. My stomach is sore and I have had a few contractions / Braxton Hicks. But staying hydrated and resting otherwise. I pray that the results come back negative, and we find birth girls completely healthy! We should know the preliminary results by Thursday.
What an experience.
Also here is a picture of my belly and the three injections they had to make.

Appointment Scheduled

After a lot of phone calls back and forth my amniocentesis is scheduled for tomorrow afternoon. The genetic counselor explained everything to me and was very detailed about it all.  The IPs want what is called a Rapid Test, which will be preliminary results, but will let them know in 48 hrs if one of the girls does have Down Syndrome.   I really believe they are going to find both girls are perfectly healthy and we can go on to enjoy the rest of this pregnancy.

I am trying to stay positive.  Worry is wasteful and yet this morning I did nothing around my house because all I could think about was this test.  A test I have had done before.  I remember it not be horrible, but also not the most comfortable.  Another surrogate friend of mine has offered to go with me tomorrow and I am considering taking her up on the offer.  I just don't want to be alone.

I also talked with my IM and she is so shocked by all this news.  She really is trying to stay positive too.  She has been so scared and nervous this whole time and once I got to 20 wks and had the anatomy ultrasound done, which came back BEAUTIFUL, she started to breath a little easier and started going shopping for her girls.  I really can't image having to go through all that she has to get to this point and hear something may not be ok. I honestly feel for her.  They want the amnio so they can have peace of mind that everything is ok or know what to expect.  Time will tell.

I am truly hoping this is just a little bump in this journey that up to this point has been beautiful .  <3

Amino instead

I got word this afternoon that I need to have the amnio done ASAP. I will be calling first thing Monday morning to schedule the appointment.

I have had nothing but wonderful feelings about this pregnancy and feel in my soul everything will be fine. I don't want to venture down the 'what ifs' road. I'm not there and that is to much emotionally too have to think about if there is no reason to. My mind wanders that way and it makes me very sad, but I remind myself, for today I'm not there. For today I have two beautiful girls growing inside me. For today I am doing exactly as I planned, growing life for another family who can not themselves. That is what I have to focus on.

I thought PGD testing was enough..

When I had my second trimester screening done, knowing that the embryos were PGD tested, I really didn't think much of it. Just another routine test that needed to be done. So when I got a call that my test came back positive, I figured something must be wrong. My doctor reassured me that the PGD testing is far more accurate than this test and not to worry. So I schedule an appointment to meet with a genetic counselor and have a detailed ultrasound done.
I went to that appointment today and talked to the genetic counselor who was very wonderful. I had both of my girls with me and she was great at being understand to their busy needs. She explained what the risks meant, that based on the egg donor age and the amount of protein found in my blood, there is a 1/150 chance that one or both of the girls has down syndrome. She said that I would be having an ultrasound done that will be more detailed and if there are any markers (white spots) that could also be a sign of DS they would let me know.
She also let me know that I could have either the Maternity21 blood test done or the Amniocentesis done as well. The Maternity21 is 99% accurate, which is similar to the PGD test that was done. The Amnio test would be 100% accurate. For twins they actually put blue dye in one of the babies sacs so when they draw out the fluid they know they didn't get the same sac twice.
I declined the test at this point because depending on the ultrasound, it will really be up to the IPs what they want to do.
When it was time we went in for the ultrasound. Daisy was excited to see her friends on TV. Doctor measured everything on twin A first. She is head down and all her measurements were perfect. However, he did find one small ICEF (intracardiac echogenic focus) This is a bright white spot in the left ventricle of the heart. This spot alone really doesn't mean much and is likely a normal variation in development. But along with the blood test, could mean Downs. It's not a definite though.
The doctor then checked twin B who was also head down. He found that all her measurements were perfect as well and she didn't have any spot in her heart. So her risk factor is a lot less.
Twin A weighs about 1lb 3oz, and Twin B weighs about 1lb 2oz.  Both there heartbeats were great. 147 & 135.

I emailed the girls mom to let her know this news. I feel for her. To come this far and then hear this news... I really believe both girls are healthy and well but will do what needs to be done if they ask for reassurance.

As the BUMP grows

I have been taking weekly pictures of my bump to watch it grow through this pregnancy.  Here I am weeks 13-22 and the changes that came with it.

14 weeks below

I am using the same pink shirt so I can see the change better.  Yes the bump is growing nice and strong!!!

Safe Zone!

So once you get to 12 week's, you are in the safe Zone. The chance of a miscarriage is far less at this point, although I have learned with twins anything is possible. I know the girls mom is happy we made it this far. It's never even been a possibility for her in the past to get this far, so it truly is a miracle. I feel blessed to help her.

Time Away

Wow it's been far to long since I posted last. A lot has changed in my belly since September, so what I am going to do is a few separate post of pictures and get caught up.

I am really going to try not to let so much time get in between from here on. I think part of it is life gets busy with my family. School started for my 14 & 3 year olds, I also teach weekly and I try to focus a lot of time on that. My mom has stage 4 cancer, so spending quality time with her is important. Also, my oldest son is a Marine and is currently deployed. All these things with be pregnant mean I get emotional! Plus somewhere in the mix of all of this I make sure to spend time with my man. He is my rock. He is the foundation that is secure and stable with all that is going on. He has told me that my strength impress him. I am strong enough to allow my self to have feelings with the thought of losing my mom, and yet admires that what I focus on is the here and now and making it the best I can. I still have my moments where my mom drives me crazy and we don't see eye to eye, I am human lol. But for the most part I try to have daily gratitude.

Graduated

I had my last ultrasound with my RE the week of September 19th. Everything was looking great! The girls are measuring perfectly and it was time to give my hugs and say good bye to all the meds and shots! Hooray!! My tush is so happy.
The crazy part is I was sop nervous to do them, but after the first week, it really wasn't that bad. I'm one of the lucky ones though. I didn't get any bad side effects. No lumps or rashes and even today things are well. Here is a picture of the girls along with a belly bump. 11 weeks 2 days.

9 week's 3 days

Ultrasound today and the girls are doing amazing! Both have strong heartbeats, getting bigger and baby B wasn't hiding as much! I sent the picture to my IM, but it was 11pm her time.  I know I will hear from her soon. I know she is getting excited and feeling this is real, because she shared with me that they told a few close friends and family. How exciting!!! I'm thrilled for her. I feel so blessed to help her out.  Here is the picture of the girls.

8 week's

8/27~ 8 week ultrasound and the girls are looking great. Baby B is always hard to find and tucked back in there. They are measuring further along but that is normal.  Sometimes babies measure further at one ultrasound and then right on for the next. Next u/s in 10 days.

First Ultrasound!!

I was so excited and nervous for my first u/s. I had a feeling I was carrying twins but worried about it being triplets. When I got there I was asked by the women who does the blood work what I thought I was carrying. The doctor asked me as well what I thought. I told her based on my hcg levels, I think twins. And I feel more stretching this time. But I don't feel pregnant. I feel normal. No morning sickness (although I never do) no cravings really...  Except being thirsty! I want to drink water all the time! 
Anyhow I was excited to see what the u/s would show. She found the baby right away! You could even see a good heartbeat. She did a little more looking and found baby 2! TWINS!! Baby 2 had a good heart beat as well. So excited to see them both! I have another u/s  this coming week and I look forward to seeing how much they have grown! I'm so excited for twins! We called my IM to let her know but she was traveling so we got her voice mail. The doctor let her know the good news and I texted her a picture with congrats! She said she is excited and nervous. Double the fun and double the responsibility. She is going to make an amazing mother! So happy for her!

Amazing!

I was so nervous to meet my IPs. I was really excited to meet my IM in person, but still very nervous. When I got to the house they were staying at, my heart was racing and I had butterflies in my belly. When she open the door she had the biggest smile on her face! She reached out and have me a huge hug!  She was lovely. Her wonderful personality and excitement came shining through. I met the IF as well and he is a very nice gentleman. We went to lunch at a nice restaurant close by. They shared with me what they have been through and how they came to surrogacy.  My IM had been through a lot. Several miscarriages and even loss both her fallopian tubes. She has tried IVF but can't stay pregnant. Her husband is amazingly supportive. He knew in her heart her life would not be complete without having children of her own. He has two older boys from his first marriage but he knows they can not fill the spot in her heart, even though she loves them a great deal. They are very talkative and have a good relationship with each other and it was nice to see them together. My IM also told me all she has been through with the surrogacy too. She almost gave up. They had to choose an egg donor and the first one they selected was turned down by the clinic. This was due to not being able to know the donors family history. Her father was adopted and they had no records of his past genetics. So they had to search for another which is not a small feet when you think about what you are looking for! Someone who looks like you, and has characteristics that you would want in your own children.  She finally found a donor and then they were matched up with a surrogate. It wasn't me. They actually had another surrogate and were in the process of starting meds when the surrogate had to back out for some reason. If course my IM was crushed! They meet a couple other surros but they weren't connecting with them. They had actually called the agency and said they were going to stop and not move forward. They were emotional exhausted. My agency told them about me and asked that they give me a look and talk to me first. Luckily for both of us my IM liked what she saw and we had a good conversation on the phone. So here we are! But it's crazy to think that they almost didn't have there dream realized. I am so glad that I got to meet them in person and especially my IM! She is more lovely in person then on the phone.
At the end of our meeting my IM gave me a good luck charm to wear. I keep it on at all times.

My hold up

I'm behind on posting what has been going on. Reason being is I got a bit side tracked after meeting with them and had some concerns that came up. I have since found out that my concerns have been taken care of and I don't need to worry. So time to move forward.

Oh and the concern had to do with reduction. Something that you decide prior to matching with a couple. My IM and I were on the same page but my IF made a comment about not having twins due to financial strain and that was not OK with me. He had since apologized for sharing his fears and concerns with me and it really was just about his fears, not something they plan on doing. They couldn't anyways because that is not how our contract is written.

Yes this may seem odd but actually this had come up a lot with other surrogates as well. If anyone is considering being a surrogate, really make sure you understand what you are agreeing to in your contract. You never know when you will need that piece of paper to protect you.

Getting ready

Today is the day I am meeting my IM! She flew in with her family on Thursday and sent me a message about meeting up. Originally Bryan and I were going to take the girls and drive up there but now I'm going by myself. The reason for the change is my IM informed me that what we are doing is illegal in her country and she and her husband have decided not to tell the older step boys about any of it until pregnancy is at or past 12 weeks. At this point most are past the point of miscarriage and will go on to have a healthy pregnancy. She also told the boy's she is meeting with an old friend for lunch. At this point there is no need for Bryan and the girls to come. Even though I understand and respect her decision to not tell the boys, I was surprised to hear that they did not know. But this road of infertility has been a long one for them and I'm sure like most they don't want to get there hopes up just to be disappointed should things not work out.
Excited, nervous, happy, thrilled!!

Numbers please

When a Dr wants to know if your pregnant he will request a blood test. This will show him the level of your HCG hormone. The Hcg is a hormone your body produces when you are pregnant. Some people have really high numbers some people have really low numbers but there's a medium where your numbers should be depending on how far along you are. In the beginning they start off pretty low continue to rise every 48 hours.
So on Monday August 4th (14dp 6dt) I had my blood drawn. I expected my numbers to be around 3000 for where I was at in my pregnancy. I had looked up what the medium range was for a twin pregnancy and 3000 was the number to meet. The doctor called me in the afternoon and told me My number was 6526! That is crazy high! I got to speak with my IM to let her know that we are pregnant! And with those numbers I'm thinking twins! She was nervously excited! We will be meeting this Saturday for the first time and I am so excited to see her being pregnant! *I'm tearing up right now thinking about it *
My doctor asked me to have another blood test on Wednesday to see the number and make sure it is increasing well. The hcg should double every 48 hours. So I had my blood drawn again today Wednesday August 6 (16dp 6dt) and my numbers were 15605! That is a doubling rate of 38 hours! Meaning my hcg is increasing fast! Which is good but I'm nervous. Sometimes eggs can split and twins turn into triplets. Several people have joked about that and I really hope they are wrong! I'm fine with twins but triplets are extremely high risk for both the babies and me. I want to have a safe, happy pregnancy and delivery. I want these girls to meet their parents without having any complications. I want the first days of there precious life to be full of love, snuggles, happy tears and kisses. My heart wants to leap out of my chest it's so full of joy!
My ultrasound is the 18th and I am super excited and nervous about it. I'm sure it will all be wonderful!

Pregnancy is easy!

No. No it's not. Well some times it can be but lately a lot of the surrogates around me are having problems. Some are having 'threatend miscarriages'. Some have there beta Numbers dropping instead of increasing, which means the pregnancy will not be continuing. I'm so sad for these ladies and the stress and worry they are going through. Honestly it makes me worried for my own pregnancy. Will I be able to keep these babies safe? Or baby - I don't even know if they both suck. I have a 3 year old and one year old that I am busy with all day everyday. And with IVF you have a higher chance of having a subchorionic hematoma otherwise known as SCH. This is a pocket of blood that sits between the uterus and the sac baby is in. I just worry about potentially having one of those and interfering with the pregnancy. I had three of those with Penny that weren't too big. I just had to be on pelvic rest until they were gone they ended up reabsorbing into my body around 13 weeks . But I worried that whole time. I'm just not sure how things will go this time but praying and crossing my fingers that everything will be easy and smooth. On Saturday (7/26) I took a clearblue easy test that tells you how many weeks it thinks you are pregnant. It said I was 1-2 weeks. The one this morning (7/31) kept flashing 3 +, 3 +, 3 + and then finally ended up on 2-3 weeks. So to me that shows that my betta IS increasing and my pregnancy is continuing to move forward without any problem . So that has put my mind at ease. I have my first beta blood test on Monday and will hear the results of what my numbers are then. I am then assuming that about two weeks later I will get an ultrasound that will actually check and see how many babies there are. I will ask if they see any SCH is at that time. Time to go drink some water and relax!

Just can't get enough

With all the test I have it is hard to NOT take one!  I love seeing the line get darker and darker!! So Yesterday I took another test in the afternoon and with in 1 min I saw this

That line showed up quickly!!!

Then at 5 mins I had this:

And 10 mins later

Look at those lines!!!  Woooo Hoooo!!!!  It worked!!!    Now if you are wondering why I have tweezers, my ring, or hair clips in the picture, it is to help the camera focus so the picture is clear.

So after that last test being so amazing, I took a Clear Blue Easy Digital test that will either say "Not Pregnant" or "Pregnant" and list how many weeks back you ovulated.

Completely official to me now!!! My IM wants to wait until I have my beta test (blood test determining pregnancy) to find out if the transfer was successful.  That won't be until August 4th, so another week for her to wait!  I am sure she will be over the moon!!!  I can't wait to meet her and her family on August 9th when they come out here to visit. It is kind of weird to be carrying someone's baby or two and have never met them.  I had really hoped to have a closer relationship, but maybe that will change over the pregnancy. 

Anyhow here is my last picture of ALL my test!

Obsessed!!

How many test will it take?

Everyday since my transfer I have been POAS. I wanted to see the line showing I was pregnant as soon as possible! I knew that the first two days after the transfer I would not see anything. That would just be too soon to detect on a home pregnancy test. I believe it takes 24-48 hours for the hormone hcg to start secreting in to the blood and urine.

How it works:
When get pregnant naturally you typically will ovulate mid-cycle. This can be any where from 12-16 days after the beginning of your period.  Most doctor's assume that this happens on cycle day (CD) 14, but every women is different. Some ovulate sooner, CD 10, others later, CD 21. Once you ovulate, your egg has about 24 hours to get fertilized. A small window. In IVF, Ovulation day is equal to the day of egg retrieval.  Once the egg is released it will usually fertilize by your ovary and then starts growing as it travels down the fallopian tube. This can take anywhere from 5 to 7 days before it reaches the uterus. In IVF, they fertilize the egg and watch it grow over the next 3 -5 days.  Sometimes during this process IVF eggs will stop growing.  This is why on egg retrieval day they try to get as many eggs as possible. I know we had 11 eggs that were growing on 3 days after fertilized. On day 5 only 6 of the eggs had continued to grow. When the embryo reaches the uterus it needs to implant into your lining that has been building up. This is why I give myself all the injections, get my lining nice and thick! Once snuggled in the embryo will start secreting hcg which is a hormone that tells the body "Hey we are pregnant! Time to get to work and help baby grow!" Again the hcg is what is detected in a pregnancy test. So if the embryo implants on day 7 after ovulation, and take 2-3 days to produce hcg, you can start taking a home pregnancy test about 9 to 10 Days Past Ovulation (DPO) to find out if you are pregnant or not. However, you may or may not see a very faint line on a pregnancy test at this point. Sometimes it takes up to 12-14 DPO for the positive to show. If you do see a faint line at 10 days past ovulation, and take a test again at 12 days past ovulation, the test line will be darker. So you will see a nice progression of that line getting darker indicating that the HCG is increasing and you are successful pregnant!
So for me 2 Days after a 6 day Transfer = 8 DPO. On 3 DP 6 DT (9DPO) I thought I saw a faint line. 

I sent this picture to others who agreed they thought they saw something too but weren't sure.
 

I took another test the next day and saw this

 

Bam! BFP! Big Fat Positive!

 

 If it's hard to see here is a tweaked picture of it. Meaning I played with effects on the photo to make that second line appear.

 

 I will keep taking test to watch the line get darker!

 

Here are all the test I have taken so far.

 

I'm obsessed! Ha!

Testing 1 2 3

I went to Walmart Wednesday night to pick up a bunch of pregnancy test. I do become obsessed with peeing on pregnancy test, aka POAS (pee on a stick) and decided I wanted to be able to test twice a day. Once in the morning and once in the afternoon. So I got 14 test! I should definitely get a BFP with one of these over the next few days!

Room Service!

I love bed rest! Maybe because I only have to do it for 3 days. Maybe because I'm not injured. But I haven't had to deal with screaming children, or cleaning, or cooking. Food has been brought to me IN BED! I didn't even get that for mother's day. Or after babies were born...  I can't think of a time where food was brought to me in bed since I was a little girl and sick. I have even been able to take naps! I feel the most rested, relaxed and happy right now. I don't think I have been this content since 2010! Ha!
So I am sad that it is ending but was grateful for the time I had to myself. On that note I'm hungry and need breakfast!

Snuggle time!

We did it! What an awesome experience this has been. We got there and went in the back to get ready. I took a valum to help relax my uterus before the transfer. Then got dressed in my cap and gown. Bryan got to put on scrubs too and he looked mighty fine! The owner from the agency came to be with me too and her support meant the world to me. We all talked and laughed and had a good time.
I told Bryan yesterday that I had a dream that I was told I was pregnant with a girl which I thought was interesting because I was dreaming about some one else's baby. I have been right about my own pregnancies, but some one else and before even being pregnant... Odd
So the Dr. Came in and told us that out of the 6 embies 2 passed the PGD testing! Hooray! This means they are very healthy and I have a very small chance of a miscarriage and high chance of a great pregnancy. He then let us know that due to the PGD testing they can tell the gender of the embies (which is amazing) and they are both girls! My dream was right! So we went in to the operating room, which was nice and cold and laid down on the operating table. The nurse put a nice warm blanket over me and the showed us the picture of the embies. One was completely hatched and the other was just starting to hatch. We took a picture before the procedure then got started. It was very quick. They insert a catheter in the cervix
Then in the catheter are the embryos. They then release them in to the uterus way up.  After that they tilt the bed so that I'm at a slight angel with my head down and I lay there for 30 mins.
After that we headed home and I am so tired from the valum I passed out on the drive. It's been a good relaxing day and I am excited to start POAS! AKA Peeing On A Stick.

Transfer Day!

Today is the day! I slept well and feel positive and excited about this transfer. We had 11 embies on Friday and as of yesterday 6 have continued to grow well and have undergone PGD testing. We will know when we get there how many actually pass the test. The good news is after the testing there is a higher chance of a successful pregnancy! I have butterflies in my stomach.
So my understanding is the procedure is going to take 10 mins, then I have to lay at an angle with my head lower than my abdomen for 30 mins. Then it's back home for bed rest till Wednesday.

Sending out prayers and good vibes for a positive visit. <3

Gold Star **

Right now is 2am and I am rocking my Lil one and realized I haven't written all the details of the past few weeks. Which have been wonderful! So here is a time line of events:

7/7- I have been taking Lupron daily and Delestrogen on Mondays and Thursdays. At this point I have only had 2 shots of the Delestrogen. I had a monitoring appointment to check my uterine lining and make sure it is getting thick. Typically after you ovulate your body starts to make a lining in your uterus for the egg, which has become a fertilized embryo, a nice cozy place to snuggle in and grow. A good number to see at this point is an 8. Anything more than that is great! If for some reason your number is a little less, well you still have time for it to change and get better, hopefully with out needing extra medication. When she checked my lining it was at a 12!!!!! The doctor tools me I get a Gold star for how well my body is responding to the meds. This made me so happy and relieved that my body was responding so well to the medication and I felt this was the beginning to great news all around.

 

 

 

7/14 - I had another lining check to see how my lining was doing and to make sure my blood work looked good.  If all is well then I would begin my daily injections of Progesterone.  The main Dr. was the one to actually check me and see how I was progressing.  He said he was extremely pleased with how well I am doing.  My lining was now at a 15 and was a triple line. When you have a triple line it means your uterus is nice and 'fluffy' and ready for an embryo.  It will look like a feather in pattern. This is great news for the embies to be.  They will have a wonderful cozy place to snuggle in and grow!

 

I was then told that the egg retrieval would be the following day from the donor and then fertilized.  From there we would know on Friday how many eggs were growing well and would go on to have the PGD testing done.  This is to make sure that there are no genetic issues.  This testing will be done on Sunday.  This is a hard test to pass and after speaking with the other surrogates, usually only 1 out of 10 pass this testing.  However the success rate of a good pregnancy increases when this testing is done.  I won't know this news until Monday morning when we get to the doctors office.

 

7/18 - I had to give blood and make sure that my Progesterone levels were looking good. 

 

7/19 - I got an email from my IM saying that they have 11 embryos growing well and will be tested the next day!!  I am very excited that we have such a great number.  This increases our odds of one passing the PGD testing.  Now if they have two that look good, then two will be implanted, but I am just crossing my fingers for one good one!

 

7/20 - Today the testing will be done and tomorrow is transfer day along with 3 days of bed rest. I am getting really excited about Monday.  Today is going to be a good easy day. I need to relax and enjoy the day and the family.

 

Shots, shots, shots

*This was actually written on July 4th.*
Well I had my first self intramuscular injection last night and boy was I nervous. Right now I'm starting with Delestrogen and only do this injection on Mondays and Thursdays.  I watched a video of how to do it 5 times before I did it just to make sure I would not mess up! I was so nervous. I made sure to ice the area first so I wouldn't feel the needle go in. Warmed the medication that was in the syringe to help the oil (the medication is oil based) go in easier. Put on the new smaller needle (some surrogates have not changed there needle to the smaller one and I can't imagine how much that hurt!) and located the area the nurses marked for me.
Then injected myself!  I did it! And it wasn't bad at all! Now I'm ready for when I have to do daily Progesterone injections. Oh boy!

It's getting real

So what has happened since my trip to SD and back?  A LOT! 

Well, got my contracts, reviewed them and had to get them finalized.  Note to self (and you if you want to be a surrogate) Make sure you have your bases covered. Or as they say in Big Brother ~ Expect the Unexpected!! Expect you will be pregnant with twins and will have to go on bed rest.  What will that mean for you? Child care cost, lost of wages cost, house cleaning cost, if your significant other has to take time of work cost. Yes make sure you have ALL of that covered!!  Do not sign if you don't.  If you don't think you will be able to make things work and this becomes a financial strain on you then it will cause problems.  That is not something you want when you are trying to do something to help another family.  If you don't want to have to worry about this, then only sign up to transfer a SET (Single Embryo Transfer). Just ONE baby. Although things could still happen, then chances of it go WAY down!!  Some things were not very clear to me.  The agency gave me a benefit sheet to sign that gave me the breakdown of cost but it wasn't my contract.  So I figured this was the basic information and anything extra could be discussed.  Well I was wrong.  This was put in the contract and not up for discussion.  Now that may seem crappy, but I will say that things change for me (the IPs) and went quickly so I am not sure if this would have been discussed more otherwise. I didn't sign the contract right away.  I contacted other surrogates and asked a lot of questions.  One even allowed me to review her contract so I could see how comfortable or not I was with what I had in front of me.  After looking it all over I was relieved.  Some parts of my contract were more flexible then hers.  My compensation would be enough to cover cost should something come up (well according to my calculations) So I moved forward and signed my life away. 

 

 

After that was done I got the thumbs up to start Meds. I was already taking birth control ~ this is to help sync my cycle up with the donor ~ and baby aspirin ~ this is to help the flow of blood to the uterus where the embryo will need to implant.  I need to be nice and "fluffy" in order for the embie to get comfy, settle in and grow! I started with Lupron.  This is a daily injection I give to myself in my stomach. It's actually not bad, doesn't hurt and is easy to do. The only side effect I am having from it is headaches.  I didn't have any for the fist couple of weeks but got my first one this past Thursday and it turned in to a migraine!! Ever since I get one daily and they are annoying. I do to the IVF clinic tomorrow to get my blood checked and ultrasound and if all is well I will start Delestrogen.  This is an injection that I will give myself in my booty.  So tonight I decided to watch a video on it.... 

 

 Yep.... That's how I feel. My mouth dropped open, my eyes popped out, my stomach turned over and over.... I'm not prepared for this injection I have to start giving myself.  I am nervous as heck to do it but I will.  I hear the anticipation for it is harder than actually doing it.  I also have heard there is a trick to doing it so that it is easier on my.  First I need to Ice the area for the injection, heat up the medicine so it goes in easy, rub it in and then put a heating pad on it after .  These are the tricks to make it not hurt so much. I was going to show you a picture of needles but after looking at a few I decided this was best:

 

 

This is a happy place I want to be thinking about instead of those long 1 1/2" Needles.  Well ~ time for bed.  I have a big day tomorrow. 

 





It's a DATE!!

Yesterday I had my medical screening. This was the next "Big" appointment I have been waiting for.  This is the appointment where the take you blood and urine samples, from both Surro and her Significant other.  They do a hysteroscopy to look at my uterus and make sure it looks good to carry a baby.  I was so excited for this day and made sure that I was prepared to go. We drove 2 hours to the Medical Office, which seems like a LONG time, but actually it was a beautiful day out.  The weather was perfect, sunny, in the upper 70's to  low 80's with a nice breeze.  There was a long stretch of road where we could see the ocean and the beach.  It was really peaceful.  Anyhow we got there and filled out all the paperwork, did the blood draw, urine samples and met with the Doctor.  He is super great.  Direct, to the point, funny and calm. He didn't tell me anything I didn't already know, which made me feel good that I have done my homework.  He asked if I had meet the intended parents and I told him that I only spoke with the Mother.  He told me they are absolutely lovely and I will really like them.  They have been waiting a long time for this and he is happy I am ready to go. The Hysteroscopy was like getting a pap smear, very simple and fast.  He said that I look great!!  No problems and my uterus is ready to bake a cupcake or two!!!  Wooooo Hooooo.  I am very happy, excited and ready to go.  I got to pick up my "Party Bag" to get started.  It was filled with birth control to help sync my cycle with the donor, prenatal pills to start taking and baby aspirin to help with blood flow.  I will start all of these on Sunday June 1st.  Then on June 18th I will start with my first round of shots.  June 20th I will stop my birth control pills.  June 30th I will start another shot (it's hard to read his writing so I can't tell the name) Then have a couple of lining checks on July 7th and July 14th, Transfer will be around July 20th!!  I am so thrilled to be doing this and to finally have a DATE!!!  I was hoping for July because being pregnant in the winter time is the best.  I am my own heater and there is all kinds of yummy food to enjoy.  I am so excited to think that this couple is going to have a baby in a year to hug, hold, snuggle, kiss, love, smell, watch and enjoy.

Afterwards we went out to eat and then drove home after traffic.  The sky looked amazing with a beautiful sunset.

and a few more miles down we saw some hot air balloons. 

It really was a perfect day.  I just know that this is going to work the first try and be an amazing experience to give to someone else.  I can't wait to help this family GROW!!!

Change in my pouch

I have been so busy this past month.  I had a final to finish and evaluations to complete but now they are all done!! Wooo Hoooo!!!

This month has brought a lot of change.  So last time I wrote that I was waiting for the doctor to look at my records and give me a thumbs up.  Well he did!!!  I knew that would happen but was so excited when I got the news on May 1st.  On May 5th I checked in with the agency to see how things were going.  She let me know that all was well and I would be getting my paperwork the next day.  She asked if I had a change to talk with my IM and I said I had not.  She told me it would be great to email her and check in.  I didn't have her email but knew I would get it the next day.  So on Tuesday May 6th I got all the paperwork and reviewed it late in the day.  I decided I would email my IM the next day to see how she was doing.  On Wednesday morning May 7th I got a call from my agency.  Apparently something had come up with my IM and she was going to postpone surrogacy until Sept or Oct.  My heart sank.  By that time it will have been over a year since I started to look in to this process and I really loved them.  I knew right away that I did not want to wait until then.  During one of our meetings I got the feeling the IM was not 100% on board.  I worried that she had some doubt going through her mind but brushed it off.  So glad that she decided to make changes at this point before getting to involved.  My agency said that the time is really interesting because they have another couple who's surrogate back out during meds. Which this is a HUGE shock.  Meds are not simple or easy.  This is a part of the process that I don't look forward too.  Sticking myself with a needle almost every day, gaining weight from those shots, being moody, bitchy, grumpy, having hot flashes, headaches and more...  So for someone to change their mind at that time means something big is happening to them.  So I was asked to look at their profile and see what I think.  Well they look like a sweet couple who is very open minded about everything and about their surros needs. I said I loved their profile and we had a phone meeting set up for the next day.  We spoke for about an hour.  She is a lovely women.  She is from Belgium so not close by, but that is ok.  We can keep in touch via email, phone and Skype. She has been trying for about 9 years to have her own child and has realized that for what ever reason, she is not able to stay pregnant once becoming pregnant and has decided to use donor eggs.  They already have the donor here local to me ready to go.   She asked me a lot of important questions about how I feel about doing this, why and if I would be ok with them being there at delivery.  I said that I had no problem with that but that I really don't want to be induced.  I have had two inductions that they are really hard on my body.  I would really love to go in to labor on my own.  She said she was fine with this and is just excited to meet someone to carry her child.

Since then I have had my psych screening and am on to medical.  I will get my medical screening this Thursday and find out how everything looks.  I will also find out how soon I will be transferring.  I am so excited!!

Hurry up and WAIT!

Well I got an update!  Hooray!  I am have been patiently waiting to hear back on what the next step is. It seems there have been a few hold ups, so I am getting the opportunity to practice patience.  My favorite! Ok not really, but it is good to learn how to slow down and enjoy the moments.
Like the one I am having right now.. Daisy is standing on the chair behind me, brushing my hair and playing with it...
And.... it's over, she has moved on and left my hair looking rather fashionable.  ha ha !  Seriously though it is hard to wait for something so exciting!

So what I found is it took almost two weeks for my medical records to make it from the Dr. office to the agency.  Then they sent them off to the RE and he went on vacation with out looking at them.  He will return from vacation next week to review and give me the thumbs up.  He might look at them while he is gone, but really he should enjoy his vacation! I mean I wouldn't want to be bothered by work while on vacation.  But maybe he is like me and passionate about things so enjoys checking up on work while relaxing.  Once I get the thumbs up then I have to wait till I am on CD14-16 (CD= Cycle Day) of my period to get checked.  The bummer is, I am on CD 14 TODAY!  So I will have to WAIT another month! BLAH!!  Wait, wait, wait... hurry up and wait!

Again, getting to practice patience.  Really, just having dates in mind is much better for me.  I don't like the unknown, so knowing puts me at peace.  Next month things will start to move forward and move faster.  I assumed we will have a July/Aug transfer, with a April/May baby.  Maybe as early as end of March, but I still think April/May.  Crazy to think next year at this time I will be ready to POP!

Seal of Approval

We got accepted!!!  They LOVE us and want to move forward!!  I am so excited.  It was hard to be patient and wait to hear the news but I am so excited, so happy, so ready to do this!!

Before hearing the news today, I woke up knowing I need to call the doctor to get my IUD removed.  I have the Paragard, non-hormonal, which is great because they don't need me to wait for body to get back on track, its already there.  Paragard has copper on it which apparently is like kryptonite to sperm, killing them off.  So it doesn't interfere with my natural ovulation.  Although it must have been doing something because my periods were whack! and horribly heavy...  Like a scary crime scene out of a movie horrible.  So happy to NOT have that again! (so I hope).  I called the doctors about 2 weeks ago to have it removed and was told that I needed to have it done when AF (aunt flow, aka menstrual cycle) was visiting. I was disappointed because she had just visited the week before and I realized that I was going to have to wait 3 more weeks to have this done.  I just worried how that could potentially put me behind schedule or interrupt the transfer. Ha ha! I don't even know when any of that will be but I don't want to be the reason for any delay!! Well AF decided to visit me late Thursday night.  Hooray!  I knew I would need to call the doctors to schedule an appointment.  The receptionist had told me when I called to have this done, I should be able to get in that day or the following.  I did call Friday after meeting with the IPs but they were closed for the weekend. Ok, no big deal, I will call Monday.   So today I called my doctor and guess what.... they were closed!!  What an odd day to be closed. Monday April 14th.  I wonder what special event is happening (religious, non religious, getting ready for taxes?) that has them closed on this Monday.  I then decided, ok no big deal - I will call another place to have it removed. They can't get me in for 2 weeks!! What is this nonsense?! What is so special about getting this done that they can't just squeeze me in?  I am sure this can't take more than 5 mins to remove. I decided to get on line and Google how it gets removed... smart! I get all kinds of blogs and post from different forums where women are talking about how they removed it themselves!  Sweet sassy molassy, this maybe the answer.  So I read a few of them and they all say the same thing: Lay down, find the strings and GENTLY pull them.  The IUD is flexible and shouldn't hurt to be removed. Well, let me think this through.  If something should happen, can I get to a hospital? Check. Would someone be able to come stay with the girls? Check. Plus I have birthed 4 babies and think my cervix is flexible. Ok, I decided to give it a whirl. Let my girlfriend know what I am up too and about 2 mins later I was free of my IUD!  Hooray me!!! Now, I am NOT, repeat NOT a doctor!  I do not, again DO NOT encourage anyone to do this.  This is a medical procedure that should be done by a doctor in case anything goes wrong and YES sometimes they do.  Some get stuck and have to be surgically removed!!  No joke. I have read about it happening.  So why did I do this?  Well some would say I'm a bad ass.  Some would say I am crazy.  And others would question my ability to make wise choices and think this was pretty stupid.  You can come to your own conclusion about me, I know I am just crazy.

So I was super excited when I got the email that we have been accepted, we have been chosen. Given the thumbs up, the seal of approval. I was going to get to carry her child and I am so excited for this!!

Meet the Parents!

Perfect.  Loving. Laid Back. Respectful. Caring.  Just a few words that come to mind when I think about these parents.  They have a wonderful love and admiration for each other.  They want what is best for there children.  They have one child already that the mother was able to carry on her own, but almost died at the end of her pregnancy/delivery (I honestly don't know the story) and so she can not have anymore of her own children.

What this means though is that she has already gone through her own pregnancy and been able to be in complete control of it. How much she rested, exercised, what she ate, what medications she consumed, what test she did or did not want done.  Along with not having extra ultrasounds other than the one at 20 wks.  There really is not enough information out there to determine what effects ultrasounds have on babies. We know that they do cause a stream of high-frequency sounds waves and baby's maybe feeling vibrations or heat. Most babies don't like them and will cover there faces almost trying to block out the ultrasound or hid from them.  So they discussed how once they became pregnant, they changed the way they took care of their bodies, knowing how it would affect their child.  She did have a lovely pregnancy and was hoping to find a surrogate with an open mind to eating well for their child, not taking routine medications at the first sign or a cold or headache but to find a more natural approach and be willing to try that first. I am completely open to trying this and may find something more natural for myself to use.  I already use a netipot when I have a cold instead of cold medicine and have found it to be extremely helpful.

Anyhow back to the meeting...  It took us a lot longer to get there then expected and so we ended up being late, which neither of us like... but they understood and were grateful we were willing to drive to them.  We met at a lovely Hotel and actually chatted in the Lobby area for our meeting.  They showed Bryan a picture of their child ~ adorable! And asked Bryan how he felt about it all.  He explained that he is 100% supportive of what I want to do and knows my passion for pregnancy and birth. After all, I am a Bradley Childbirth Educator and will be working to be a doula as my girls are older.  I LOVE all things birth!! The Father said he understood and lives the rule "Happy Wife = Happy Life".

 They talked about how they chose to stay healthy during their pregnancy and why.  She asked me questions about any complications I have during my pregnancies, sickness I experience or anything else.  I have very healthy pregnancies with only slight nausea in the beginning.  Yes I am blessed. After that the Father had to return to work (it was a Friday afternoon) but the Mother stayed and chatted with us for a bit longer.  We talked about what we will have to go through to get the process started. Medical screenings and what not, all the meds we have to take before IVF.  She wants to do a fresh cycle as opposed to a frozen cycle. She said she wasn't sure how many times I am willing to do this and I told her that when I signed up I was committed to trying it 3 times before having to re-evaluate.  But I don't think it will take 3 times to become pregnant.  I have a good feeling that it will happen on the first try!  I read another surrogates blog and she talks about being positive and how she has carried 4 times and every time it worked on the first try.  So I plan on doing the same.  After that she treated us to lunch.  At this hotel, there is a small restaurant on the rooftop and it was a lovely day out.  In the upper 70's with a slight breeze.  She wasn't able to stay with us for lunch which was a disappointment, but it gave Bryan and I an opportunity to eat in peace and quiet and enjoy each others company.  Usually we have out two little ones and so eating is never a dull moment.  It was a mini vacation!  I phoned her later that night and let her know how much we appreciated that.

I am excited to see what the next step will be.  I know Monday I will be calling the doctors to have my IUD removed so my body can get back on cycle and get ready to grow a baby!

Before the Meeting

I am so excited and nervous.  Tomorrow we meet the husband, the father of the child I will carry.  Wow that sounds weird to say, but that is what it is.  I am really excited, I am not even tired but know I should go get in bed.....  and I am sure once I do my little one will wake.  The couch may become my bed again.  Anyhow, tomorrow I need to get up, get the older one off to school, get some make up, do my hair, and figure out what I am going to wear.  I hope my girlfriend is ready for the photo bomb I will be sending her for dress approval.  Not an actual dress, although that would be nice, I plan on wearing pants. I always wear pants.  I need to get a few more girly.... womanly.... ugh, I don't like how either of those sound... but I need a few more dresses.  I am so excited and hope they like us and want to move forward.  I wonder if the conversation will be comfortable, awkward, quiet or... stop over thinking it!  It will go great!! Plus this week I bought my first container of Raw Milk and guess what? I like it!! and so does Daisy! I am excited to tell her that.
I am getting anxious again but I yawned, so that is a good sign.  Sleep is on it's way and I will need it for tomorrow. The weird thing about this, is I have no idea what I should or shouldn't say.  If there is a right or wrong or proper etiquette with this, but I am going to do my best to relax and go with the flow.  Be my charming self and leave the rest up to the universe to decide.  Good night.

....Oh, here it is!!!

My blog!  I have completely forgotten all about you.  I am so sorry and will try to be better about keeping things current.

It's been 6 months since I first started this and for the first 5 months not a whole lot had happened.  Then one night while checking FB (Facebook) I came a cross a post by a Doula sister that I know who has been a surrogate in the past.  I asked her about a good agency to use because I don't think my agency has anyone to match me with.  She responded back letting me know that there is an agency who is currently looking for a natural minded surro.  Someone who doesn't want induction, and I got so excited!  That is right up my alley!!
Now I know things like induction can be good if medically necessary (and no I am not talking about baby being to big to fit through your pelvis) but I really don't want to ever have to be induced again.  I was with my last daughter and well, that is a story for another time.
She sent me the agency's information and I immediately contacted them.  I had a wonderful conversation with the woman there and actually could feel my adrenalin rushing though with the thought of being able to be matched up.  After all I started looking in to this back in August and here it was end of March.  No, it doesn't normally take this long but I was still breastfeeding Penny and the time and wanted to make it to her first birthday, which passed March 18th.  So I knew I had time but was getting ancy! I get baby fever as my little one was nearing her first birthday, transitioning from baby to toddler.  I am just not ready for her to be growing up so fast!  The agency sent me their information and a profile to fill out which I did that night.  After sending it over I was giving the profile to this lovely couple who are looking for a natural minded surrogate.  I told the agency that I was very interested in speaking with them and she told me they felt the same, so a phone conversation was set up. At first it was awkward, I didn't know what to say, but we just started talking and I told myself to relax and just be me. We had a nice conversation and have a lot of similar values.  The next step was getting to meet with her and the women from the agency.

*First Date*

I was so excited and nervous.  I felt like I had been asked out on my very first date and wanted to impress her.  I made sure to pick out my outfit the night before and even do my hair. Which when having two little ones, ages 2 and 1, doesn't happen very often.  (I wash it, just drying and curling is a 2 hour event in it's self) I got my sitter lined up and off I went.  We met at a local coffee shop and had wonderful conversation full of laughter and tears of joy.  She is a beautiful women and I feel very lucky that I met her.  She really wants a very natural pregnancy as well as birth.  So cutting out all the coffee, soda, fast food, processed food and other things that really are not good for us.  Luckily in our family we have already talked about doing this, but this will really help us to make it happen.  She also asked that I be open to natural remedies to illness before taking medicine.  So no Tylenol for headaches or cold meds for a cold.  I am completely open to finding other natural ways to cure these things first.  The next step is for us to meet with her and her husband.  We should be doing this by next weekend!  If they decided they like us, and we like them, we can move forward!!   I am still so excited to be at this part of the process and really hoping things continue to move smoothly.